I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
