Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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