You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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