508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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