Plan B is the new Plan A
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
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Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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