we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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