Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
