so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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