Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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