**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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