I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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