With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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