Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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