I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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