is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
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My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
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I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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