just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dick very happy bro
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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