I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
