It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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