No more Irish car bombs ever.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
