My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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