I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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