Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
