I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
