"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize