the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize