I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
