it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.