Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again

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  (248): Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again http://tfl.nu/uk5s
  Replies (3) Good night (1581) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet

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  (319): i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet http://tfl.nu/p6vj
  Replies (12) Good night (692) Bad night (3406)
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  (510): View more from California

  He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.

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  (510): He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him. http://tfl.nu/gqvc
  Replies (13) Good night (877) Bad night (3453)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?

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  (512): I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing? http://tfl.nu/nzdd
  Replies (7) Good night (8674) Bad night (790)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.

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  (845): I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ. http://tfl.nu/s7ef
  Replies (30) Good night (13782) Bad night (1315)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.

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  (504): Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself. http://tfl.nu/n9ey
  Replies (9) Good night (1069) Bad night (2878)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.

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  (+44): I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk. http://tfl.nu/9idz
  Replies (22) Good night (3057) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time

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  (781): In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time http://tfl.nu/v2fu
  Replies (8) Good night (2436) Bad night (917)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.

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  (770): Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob. http://tfl.nu/4q4p
  Replies (9) Good night (1897) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?

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  (318): So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt? http://tfl.nu/a1yi
  Replies (6) Good night (1398) Bad night (804)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous

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  (785): I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous http://tfl.nu/ltir
  Replies (14) Good night (1211) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?

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  (912): Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever? http://tfl.nu/koc4
  Replies (11) Good night (1473) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea

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  (512): Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea http://tfl.nu/vg1d
  Replies (5) Good night (510) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.

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  (571): My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous. (703): Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill. http://tfl.nu/6yt0
  Replies (0) Good night (628) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.

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  (904): Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/p7rc
  Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (517)

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