Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  youre lurking in front of me

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  (407): youre lurking in front of me http://tfl.nu/nxpl
  Replies (4) Good night (894) Bad night (848)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep

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  (586): I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep http://tfl.nu/zumz
  Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (703)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"

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  (614): Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge" http://tfl.nu/439j
  Replies (20) Good night (4023) Bad night (4644)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.

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  (608): The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer. http://tfl.nu/u1k3
  Replies (17) Good night (9844) Bad night (1478)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i throw a brick at someone last night?

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  (361): Did i throw a brick at someone last night? http://tfl.nu/tk7m
  Replies (15) Good night (5869) Bad night (1546)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n

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  (416): He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n http://tfl.nu/pe4m
  Replies (21) Good night (12346) Bad night (1368)
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  (661): View more from California

  I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight

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  (661): I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight http://tfl.nu/99ir
  Replies (11) Good night (2832) Bad night (962)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.

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  (972): I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success. http://tfl.nu/i1ko
  Replies (6) Good night (3167) Bad night (1126)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.

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  (214): The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to. http://tfl.nu/ot3b
  Replies (2) Good night (1875) Bad night (685)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.

  (1-785): View more from Kansas

  i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man

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  (785): The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop. (1-785): i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man http://tfl.nu/s8dm
  Replies (2) Good night (1469) Bad night (555)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.

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  (303): Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair. http://tfl.nu/ft15
  Replies (5) Good night (886) Bad night (426)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand

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  (931): I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand http://tfl.nu/pke8
  Replies (0) Good night (680) Bad night (428)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..

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  (732): Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say.. http://tfl.nu/7n6y
  Replies (3) Good night (567) Bad night (308)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year

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  (228): My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year http://tfl.nu/fbfd
  Replies (28) Good night (333) Bad night (1841)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder

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  (845): I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder http://tfl.nu/kklv
  Replies (1) Good night (277) Bad night (667)

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