I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Good thing I've started drinking again
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.