splinters make it hard to masturbate
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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