party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
