Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
