Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Randomize