he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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