The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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