i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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