Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
