I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
