WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
