we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
