I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
