I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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