Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize