I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
