is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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