I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
