I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
