Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
