Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
