If that was your dad, he is hot
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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