I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
