drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
