are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
