she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So squirting runs in the family.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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