so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
