Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
