R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
