id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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