why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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