i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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