is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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