lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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