she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
