Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
