I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
